October 18, 2005

Clip Update

Since last week’s blog, many have written and inquired about the clip situation at my work. Did Britny’s clip ever show up? Did she get a new clip? Have I been accused of stealing any other office supplies?

Well, last weekend I went to Office Depot and bought a pack of large gold clips. Though miffed that Britny had accused me of taking her silver clip, I thought that giving her a couple gold clips would be a nice thing to do. So I gave her two gold clips Monday morning. She forced a smile and thanked me for the gesture.

To my disappointment, she hasn’t been using either of the gold clips to hold together her work, but rather a plain old regular paper clip. Did someone steal the gold clips? I didn’t ask. Is something internally preventing Britny from using the gold clips? I’m not sure.

I should also elaborate a bit on last Friday's clip situation, as I haven't yet written about the disappearance of David's clip. Moments after Britny’s clip disappeared, David’s clip also disappeared. David was rather attached to a pink clip and, like Britny, greatly angered when his clip vanished. Although no one’s entirely sure what happened, the general consensus is that Karen stole Britny’s clip and then Britny, half-suspecting David of the theft, stole his clip as retribution. I will be sure to update you all on the matter as the situation unfolds.

October 13, 2005

Movie Review: 'My Summer of Love'

Just saw Pawel Pawlikowski's My Summer of Love. Here's the basic plot...let's see, Mona is your typical angry, angst-ridden teenager who becomes friends with a rich girl named Tamsin. Okay, so they become friends, have hot and wild lesbian sex and then Mona's Evangelical brother begins to intrude on their affair. That said, let me add that the movie is not about lesbians or lesbian sex or Evangelical Christians walking in on lesbians having lesbian sex. [Okay, now that I've lost the male members of my audience, let me continue.] Rather, this a movie that, although containing a seen-it-a-million-times premise, brims with dead-on insights about humanity.

So many Hollywood movies appear to have been written by bitter adolescents, espousing an adults-are-evil/fuck-the-establishment worldview. And I thought that's the direction this film was headed. But the ending proved me wrong.

After escaping from her brother, we think Mona’s going to be reunited with Tamsin and the two will move away and live happily ever after. Youth, we’re led to believe, will once again win the day. At this point in the movie, I was reminded of a high school graduation speech I heard a few years back. Some little eighteen-year-old twit went on and on about how great her generation was, how they wouldn’t be like their parents, but would actually make a difference, would actually change the world. Don’t trust anyone over thirty, that sort of bullshit.

But, to my surprise and delight, My Summer of Love turned out to despise this type of thinking just as much as I do. Youth doesn’t conquer all. Tamsin proves to be a self-indulgent brat who doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously. The problem, we realize, isn’t that adults keep preventing young people from achieving their dreams. The problem is the corruption of the human heart, which plagues old and young alike. Young people don’t live happily ever after, not because adults wont’ let them, but because they don’t have it in themselves to do so. They’re too naïve, too confused, too self-absorbed.

This film doesn’t condemn Mona’s anger. It doesn’t mock her dreams. We sympathize with her. Most of us once were her. However, the film reminds us how…well, how dumb and selfish teenagers are. Praiseworthy for their sincerity, yes, but, let’s face it, they really do have a lot of growing up to do.

Along with these great insights, the movie is an artistic gem. The plot is simple and therein lies its beauty. Few supporting characters. Minimalistic yet intriguing scenes. And not many major twists, although there are a couple. The story never loses its focuses, just takes its time to naturally unfold.

October 11, 2005

More Tales from a Suburban Bank…

My Co-Worker. Alright, so I work with this girl named Britney. Britney is fond of a particular silver clip, which she uses to clasp together some of her work. Well one of my co-workers thought it’d be real funny to hide Britney’s clip from her.

“This isn’t funny,” Britney began to fume upon realizing that her clip was missing. “Whoever took my clip is gonna pay.” She then turned to me: “Where’s my clip, Don?” “I dunno where your clip is.” “Give it back.” “I didn’t take your clip.” “But you know who took it.” “I don’t know who took it.” “You think this is funny, don’t you?” “No, I don’t—” “I know you’re lying.” “Don’t accuse me of something I didn’t do!” “Just give it back.” “I didn’t take your clip.”

My Other Co-Worker. Okay, I work with this other woman named Laura. If I had to guess, I’d say Laura’s the one who took Britney’s clip, as she seems to have something against Britney and delights in making her mad. Also, I’ve seen her hide things from Britney in the past. Anyway, one of my sources told me that after Britney accused me of taking her clip, she went to Laura and asked if she knew of the clip’s whereabouts. And what did Laura say? “I think Don took it.”

Another Co-Worker. So there’s another woman I work with, Vicky. Now she’s a really nice person, but a bad judge of character. For some reason, she always believes whatever Britney says to her. So later in the afternoon, Vicky came up to me and asked that I give the clip back to Britney. “Vicky, I didn’t take it.” “I know you’re lying.” “I’m not lying!” “I can tell ’cause you have that smirk on your face.” “What smirk?” “You always get this smirk when you’re lying.” “I’m not lying.” “Just give it back to her, Don.”

Another Britney Story.
When I arrived at work on Friday, I saw that Britney had put herself down for the 2:00 lunch. Which meant that David and I had to go to lunch at noon and 1:00. Now everyone at my work likes to go to lunch at 2:00 and everyone knows this about everyone. Now I had taken the noon lunch on Monday and Thursday and David had taken it on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Well David, never one to beat around the bush, told Britney that she wasn’t being fair, that both he and I had taken the noon lunch every other day that week and it was only right that she take it at least one day. And what do you think Britney’s response was? “David, leave me alone! I wrote my name down first!”

Summary. Now it doesn’t really hurt my feelings when a co-worker accuses me of stealing a clip. And I don’t really care if I get stuck with the noon lunch three days a week. Nevertheless, it’s really draining to spend forty hours a week with such petty and selfish people.

The moral of the story: I need a new job! Like NOW!!!