May 1, 2006

Unconditional Love

Dear Mom,

What can one give back to a mother who has given a lifetime of unconditional love? The answer, of course, is nothing. So, why even try? Yes, tomorrow’s Mother’s Day, but how could a bouquet of flowers or an expensive gift ever compare to all you’ve given me? You know what I’m saying? So no gift, this year, Mom. But instead, I thought I’d try to put into words just how much you mean to me.

Thank you, Mom, for so fully devoting yourself to me during those first critical months. I know it must have been rough on Dad, suddenly having a wife so consumed with this crying little baby. How rough it must have been when, right as he got home from work, you no longer asked how his day was but instead went into an hour-long discourse about what new things I’d done, what I’d eaten for lunch, what my bowl movements had been like, etc. How rough it must have been when he stopped getting much sex and absolutely no foreplay. But thank you, Mom—for faithfully heeding your true calling.

And thank you for coming to my defense when the babysitter spanked me for supposedly biting that other little boy. It’s must have been tough for you, making such a fuss in front of the other mothers, threatening to sue if she didn’t apologize to me right then and there. I’ll never forget that look in your eyes ,that look of indignation that said “I trust my son, I know he would never lie.” Looking back, it doesn’t really matter that I had in fact bitten the boy. What matters is that you took my side, that you were there when I needed you most.

And thank you for continuing to stick up for me throughout my childhood. I remember that time at the Little League championship when the umpire called strike three on me, and you stood up in the bleachers and started shouting at him in front of all the other parents. I still think of that day sometimes. What I remember most isn’t that the ump made the right call; it was right in the middle of the plate, Mom. What I remember is you being there for me. So many of my friends’ parents didn’t even go to the game, but there you were, cursing at the umpire, being forcibly dragged back to your car by Gerry Lubinski’s mom.

There are so many other fond memories I have of you, Mom. So many that if I wrote every one of them down, I doubt that even the whole world would have enough room for the books that would be written. Like that time in college when I owed those guys that money and you went behind Dad’s back and sold his mom’s china set. Or remember back when I had that “problem” and you kept writing me checks? And please stop beating yourself up over that; you had no idea I’d just use the money to buy more drugs. Or remember that time you went and talked to Jeanie and pleaded that she forgive me for bagging that high school student? And how you told her that if she decided to leave then you’d hire the best lawyer money could buy and see to it that she never saw the kids again?

If only every boy had a mom like you. The world’s harsh enough. The world always tells us that we’re not good enough, that we won’t make it. But you, Mom, you never made me feel like that. I always knew that, no matter what, you loved me, that you were always in my corner. All I can say is thank you. Thank you, Mom. And, by the way, since I have your ear, I was wondering if maybe I could have an advance on next month’s allowance. See, I met this guy at work, a really good, standup guy. Anyway, he was telling me about this business opportunity that’s already making huge profits. It has to do with health products, and there was this guy in Florida, for example, who started selling the stuff just last year and he didn’t even put that much time into it and now he’s like a millionaire. Anyway, I thought it’d really be good to get in now, you know, before everyone else has heard about it. So if I could come by maybe Sunday morning that’d be really great, because they have a deadline at midnight and if I don’t invest by then I won’t be able to again for at least two weeks, and maybe never.

Anyway, Mom, I just wanted to say thank you for all you’ve done, for your never-ending love.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

Your Son

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