November 2, 2008

Two Turds in the Same Bowl -- And Other Thoughts on the Election

Dear fellow citizens,

We are all seriously screwed. Forgive me for putting it so bluntly, but there’s really no other way to put it. Whether McCain wins, or Obama wins, or McCain’s heart gives out and Pit Bull Palin ends up in the White House—we’re screwed.

You see, there’s just no difference between these guys. Sure McCain and Obama each claim that they have different plans, different visions for America, but when you cut through all the crap (and there’s an awful lot of crap here), you essentially have the same candidate. Let’s call him McBama. John Barack McBama.

McBama says he cares about the poor and middle-class—yet he has no intention of cutting corporate welfare.

McBama says he knows how to save the American financial system—yet he has no plan to reform, let alone abolish, the Federal Reserve, which is the true cause of our current crisis.

McBama says he cares about the future of this country—yet he intends to keep driving up the national debt.

McBama says he cares about the sanctity of life—yet he sees nothing wrong with dropping bombs on innocent Muslims.

McBama says he’ll protect the American people from future terrorist attacks—yet he espouses the same policies which put us in danger in the first place.

To put it frankly, McBama is a loser. And not your typical loser, not the type of guy who goes to the comic store every weekend and spends much of his life daydreaming that he’s Akira. No, McBama is a corrupt, self-seeking, thoroughly incompetent sort of loser.

These guys are two sides of the same coin. Or to use a better analogy, they are two turds inside the same toilet bowl. Now perhaps you can make an argument that one turd smells worse than the other. Or to again switch the analogy, perhaps you can make the argument that one candidate would lead us down the wrong road at a slower rate than the other. But that doesn’t mean he deserves our support. If two guys are leading me down the road to Hell, then I want to do all I can to get off the road, and not merely follow the guy who’s going to get me there last!

So what am I suggesting? To vote third party. It doesn’t even matter which party you vote for. Green Party, Libertarian Party, Socialist Workers Party, Animal Rights Party, American Vegan Party—it makes no difference, just vote for one of them. Because I’m afraid that’s our only hope.

Think of it as a long-term strategy. Obviously no third party candidate is going to win this election. But that’s not because the American people are happy with McBama; they’re simply afraid of “throwing their vote away.” Yet if you join with me and vote third party, you’ll be sending a message—to our current leaders, that we’ve lost faith in the two-party monopoly; to potential leaders, that there’s a demand for change, for real change; and to other voters, that they’re not alone, that if they follow our lead and vote their conscience, then we might actually be able to bring about real change in the long-run.

Little by little, all this might actually catch on. Think about it. If a large number of people vote third party this election, then even more might do so the next election, and so on—until one day maybe, just maybe, we might be able to elect someone actually worthy of our respect.

Perhaps I’m dreaming. I realize that. But will you dream with me? Please, dream with me. Because this really might be our only hope. And though it’s a slim hope, at least it’s something. Because if we keep throwing away our votes on the lesser of two evils, then our current nightmare is definitely going to get worse.

Don Emmerich, Jr.

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